Signs You're Getting Old

• You watch Rent and think, "Get a job, you lazy bastards." 
• Your child goes to bed early and you're excited because you either get to A) finish washing that load of dishes B) watch a TV show in primetime, or C) also go to bed. 
• You hear Lady Gaga's newest release and think, "Madonna really shouldn't mess with her classic hits."
• You tsk-tsk your neighbor for rolling in at 10 pm with their car stereo blasting. And it probably woke you up.
• You see another grey hair and don't even bother yanking it out.
• You catch part of The Breakfast Club on TBS and now you kind of relate to the principal. Those entitled little brats don't know what it means to have a hard life. Except Judd Nelson's character.
• You are blasting "The Banana Song" in your Subaru Outback and you don't even think to be embarrassed. And you're singing along, too. 
• Your big weekend activity? Shopping at Target. And maybe stopping by Playland afterwards, if Target wasn't too draining.
• You can't sit on the floor with the kid for long periods of time. And then when you go to get up, you need to brace yourself against something and you audibly groan. 
• You buy shoes based on comfort and versatility.
• Same with bras.
• You have a night out and a sitter willing to stay late, but instead of dinner or a movie or cocktails, you really just want to hide somewhere and nap.
• You start thinking song lyrics are inappropriate and start questioning freedom of speech. 
• You wonder what the hell happened to My Little Ponies and Barbie and Strawberry Shortcake. They look weird as hell.
• You start regretting that tattoo on your foot. 
• You think, hey, my music collection is still pretty hip. The 90s weren't that long ago.