Monday, July 25, 2011

No Swearing: Day 1

I already failed. Norah got up at 5:00 am and the first words that muttered out of my mouth were "Damn it." But I'm going to keep at it.

I think that by limiting my use of curse words, I will bring back their special meaning. Right now they're just words.

Man, I have a lot of shit to do.

Damn, it's hot.

Where's that fucking towel?

But they used to be more powerful. Here are a couple of my favorite swearing moments from childhood:

Who: Me and my childhood friend, Crystal
When: I think I was around 7 or 8
Where: Summer Bible school
What: We had made kazoos using toilet paper rolls, wax paper, and a rubber band. We were leaving the church and Crystal had left hers on a table, and I got it and ran up to her.

"Don't you want your kazoo?" I asked.
"I don't want that piece of shit."
And the Bible school teacher was right behind her.

I still giggle when I think of that moment.

Who: Mom, Dad, sister, me
When: 9 years old?
Where: In the car. Road trip to Oregon from Minnesota.
What: We were going to take a pit stop and visit my great aunt and her little poodle.

Dad: Yeah, she really loves that stupid little dog.
Mom: What's it's name? It's Pingo, or Pongo, or Dipshit or something.


And here are some of my favorite cinematic swearing moments:

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation: Clark goes batshit when he finds out his holiday bonus is a jelly-of-the-month-club membership.

Pulp Fiction: Samuel L. Jackson's character asks for his wallet back.

The Big Lebowski: Walter and Donny.


And my favorite Subversive Cross Stitch pattern:


Ah, good times. Making curse words generic has weakened them for me. This sabbatical will do me some good, and remind me that swearing can be awesome in appropriate situations.

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